• Lauren Vitale

Free Choice and Control


I am afraid of flying. Despite the fact that flying in a plane is statistically safer than me driving my car, I am terrified of getting in that plane and going anywhere.


It’s not because it’s dangerous, or even because the plane goes really (really) high.


It’s because I’m not in control.


Many of us are afraid. We all want control. If someone else is in control, that’s terrifying. And how absolutely horrifying to think we are not in control of our own fertility.


We have reason, science, and free will to give us the freedom to change our actions when we want to avoid or achieve pregnancy. Natural family planning is a great tool to help us when we have discerned we want a baby, or don’t want a baby. It might even start to seem like we have control over the situation. Control, however, is not the same thing as a free choice.


I can choose to have a picnic at the beach, but I can’t control the weather.


We are always free to choose, but ultimately, we are not in control. We can’t make other people do what we want them to, and we can’t bring other human beings into or out of existence as we please. The sooner we surrender our lives and expectations to God, the sooner we can realize the great gift that it is to live in the freedom of God’s love. Without Him we can do nothing.


God, in His great love, has given us science, reason, and free will, to use together to work for His plan of love within the family. If you’re using natural family planning to try to conceive, or to space pregnancies, you are using valid scientific research to help attain a reasonable goal, and you’ve made a free choice to do so. You are preserving the love-giving and life-giving aspects of marriage, and truly giving yourself fully to your spouse. This is very good! As you continuously discern your family size, double-down your trust in God’s plan for your family, pray with your spouse, and ask for the peace that only God can give.


He’s already in control, so choose to trust!

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